All I Ever Wanted Was You

I have been stuck up in the corner of my mind the entire day

Afraid of wandering because I am sure away from it, I will find you

Before I knew you, I had solace to myself

Never worrying about things that seemed mediocre to my mind

Sadly now, all I have to myself is a corner

You have the entire part of my thought process

Is that fair? Is it?

My mind tells me it shall pass.

It has learned to digest this because well, all my friends have said so

And yet I am not sure

I have never been unsure all my life

All I am now is a wreck, wondering whether I have right to think the way I do..

All I ever wanted was you… And I got a clone of you😭

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Crashed

I decided to take on a challenge in your absence

This is much lesser than what I anticipated I would do on a day like this 6months later

I promised not to think very often of you and yet you are what my thoughts crave for

Maybe I should be moving in a direction opposite but you are my early morning coffee beckoning me

I am fully aware that opposite roads always have a junction

It may not be at the first stop, neither may it be after a year

I know however, that we will end up meeting someday

And I will have my eyes glued on you like you are a visual magnet

You will hear my heart beat like it ran a marathon

At that point, you will know my fears, you will know I want you still as much more than I did then

At your sight, I will wonder how life has been to you; fair, nasty, great or excellent

The sight of you will make me wonder whether I made the right choice walking away from the fire that still burned on the inside

Or worse, it will cross my mind—that dreaded curiosity

On who warmed your bed while I was away soul-searching

Would she be of light-skin or black. They say black is beauty and I know it is your favorite

But I also know that while we were together, you stared at fairer girls

Whose skin you made me envy—sometimes they were slightly Hamisa’s tone

But still you stared as though oblivious I watched you

And while you did—you took my heart with you

See I am now over you like the burger I had the day we went bungee-jumping

Memories of you are etched in a file that is almost facing delete

And yet I know almost doesn’t count… it never counts

I almost caught the bus the night we broke up

You didn’t believe me because you thought I was out cuddling with the guy whose eyes were beautiful

But if it counts, I almost caught that bus

The bus in which I saw over the news crashed.

I still wonder why you held bitterness after you got to know the bus I was supposed to catch to meet you, crashed

But perhaps you wanted me out of your life long before I knew you did

And that more than anything, crashed me more than that bus could ever have!!

She was vulnerable when it came to him… He had crashed through her universe, kissing her soul— N. R. Hart

 

Brown Skin

Today I met the Brown skin
I call her that because it was what she was known by back when I knew her
Brown skin and I went to the same church
She was the light that filled most boys’ nights
And the reason most girls wore envy as a garment
She had all the handsome, masculine and well framed men under her whimsical
Acting like dogs would at the sight of a chicken bone
We on the other hand had the chaff; smitten, beaten and weak
The kind that would frail on cold mornings and sneeze more than whales
We held onto these weaklings’ hands, mostly dissatisfied but appreciative of their advances
Unfortunately, our necks remained craned to the men we wished to have
The men Brown skin treated like dots

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Overtime, we grew up, moved on and forgot these men whose fiery glances toward Brown Skin tore at our hearts
Our prayers changed to “Father in Heaven, we thank you for the unanswered prayers”
We realized we didn’t get them then but we were in a better place to make them wish they had invested in where their eyes were not
More often we went off singing Hallelujah and winking at Karma like “You are loyal bish”
We were happier than Jack and Jill on their way up the hill after we met their glutton looking bodies
We were more confident than Red Ridinghood when we realized they no-longer had effect in the affairs of our hearts
Oh the relish.

Forgive me, I tend to lose myself in too much thought
Let us get back to where we began
Oh yes, I met Brown skin and there was something oddly odd about her
She had lost a glow; both her own and her maker’s
She looked worn out, hard stretched and flustered at her 22
She had slew long before the world caught onto the slay queen trend but now she looked slain
In my bell bottom jeans, faded maroon tank top and fish open shoes, I couldn’t be compared with her.. I looked far better
She had tonnes more skin and age
Just one look at her and I knew what the cause was.
Just one look!!

Brown Skin was not jolly as she was before
She had long lost her spark
She had gotten comfortable
Heeding not the gospel of levels
You don’t stay in the same place for too long and expect to remain relevant
And just like that, the boys had come and gone same as the men
Coming and leaving like seasons
Enjoying her smile and hearty chuckle and later finding agitation when her dimples showered the sides of her temples
Had she soared, had she moved, she would have found inspiration from someone else
Possibly even finding a mentor to guide her through her life’s purpose
Maybe she would still have attracted all the men to herself because her glow would only have gotten stronger and better
Maybe we would still be jealous of her
But then she would be in a better place with a better outlook on life
But she stuck to the same, to what she knew
Scared of taking a step into the waters; fearing that she may drown

No this is no memorial message to Brown Skin
As a matter of fact, she is alive and maybe well; living life as the young people would say nowadays
She just looks faded as the black cloth you last let go
She looks drained, thirsting for more and not knowing where to get it from
Feeding on Inspiration and motivational speeches from “Servants” that have forsaken the words that give Life.
These servants are just not speaking to dead minds, they are influencing decisions
Her soul dies everyday but her Spirit was long buried
Under the clamp of man’s ideas—Religion
Oh give me a glass of wine, I am not jealous of Brown skin anymore— I drink because she has deliberately veiled herself
I sympathize with her but I pray for her more
In my bell bottom jeans, I write about Brown Skin
For the first time today, she didn’t say “Hmmm, she stretched out her hand in polite greeting!!


End: This is just not any poem… If you read to the end, I would like to hear/read your thoughts😊😐.. Thank you!

Do Men Ever Realize They Get Only One Chance?

This is one that has been stuck on the back walls of my mind, showing face once in a while and then slowly drifting back to the cognitive. Today it crossed my mind when a close friend opened up about his “trying to get into a relationship” ordeals.. He sounded hurt with his revelation. I listened because sometimes all that people need, is a listening companion and not one that will take them back to school of encouragement and comfort. Most times when we prove to know it all, we become a nag and deny the person spilling all a chance to grieve..

He mentioned that he wants to get into a relationship like any natural emotion-filled human. He needed to be loved, to flaunt and be flaunted, to not be the odd “single” guy among his gangos. “But even the girls that seem to promise, the ones that seem like they have given a green light just end up vanishing after a date, disappearing like what happened before was a fad.”–He shared thoughtfully

“It is all bed and roses in the inbox until after a physical date is set up. The sparks disappear.”

When he narrated this, I realized this has happened before… I have seemingly gone on speaking into the phone for several hours with a person on the other end and it seemed like he is the one, only for a date to happen and bam!!—Nope, not this one.. And just like that, you thank him for thinking up the idea of a date. This is you being polite because well, he didn’t spend peanuts while he was impressing you– this thank you note also marks the last days of the late night calls, love filled texts and possible flirtations.

After this post, possibly men shall share why they seem to rethink their idea of spending forever with a girl after a date. For now, I shall speak boldly for the girls.

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First, It matters where you are going for a date. Is it the loud place or the serene place. Between these two, I would choose the latter—why? It is the first time you are meeting therefore it counts that you aren’t interrupted by loud music or various strings of activity. To request to take a person out on a date depends mostly on their likes and character and never yours.. it doesn’t matter whether you don’t like it, it is their needs before yours.—This is called the Impress her mode. In all honesty, my friends are really the kind you will find deeply rooted into church and their first date stories just killed any possible hopes of ever dating the guys that took them out.. First because the person did not recognize their Christian values and secondly because while in the loud places filled with “mr big boom and agataako”.. The scripture from 2 Corinthians 6:14- Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? Is a constant reminder that their hosts are a bad choice. This case is closed!!

Second, I am personally the kind that will go out on a date and determine to listen(this is because I usually do not have as much to talk about like I often do—haha).. Any how, while at it you will realize that ideologies are not a match at all. There is no cross roads between your kind of ideologies and his kind of ideologies, it is clearly two parallel roads not able to meet anywhere.. See the Bible clearly states that “Out of the abundance of the heart, a man speaks”.. Never take lightly what someone says, it has not just been formed by the tongue but it is something they have meditated upon, yes even in a micro second. Luke 6:45- A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

Third, you can know a person that is putting up a front that they will not be able to sustain for a longtime. Yes, we are meeting for the first time and we both have our insecurities.. Will he like me and the dress I put on? is mostly what’s going on in a girl’s mind. Dear men, you don’t have to overstretch your budget, you do not have to tell me of exploits(that haven’t been a personal experience yet) just to impress me. Do not blow me up too much just to inflate me with a prick of a needle in the future. In the moment, let us focus on you and I. let us be as genuine as a stain on white linen.

Fourth, aren’t some guys just careless with their words? Please when I walked into the restaurant to meet you, I was not seeking self-esteem from you. I walked in with it in full throttle! Therefore do not lower it with comments like Omg, you are fatter than I thought, Oh shit, you should have worn purple lipstick to match your dress beautifully, why don’t you wear mascara for your eyes—are you even girl at all?? Aaahh for those whose eyes are bulged, hmm yes we have guys that have bolder balls… Their guts are very unexpected and un-thought of.. Who would like to be in a relationship where their levels of esteem will be diminishing every new day or worse, losing oneself just to keep up with the expectations of a man that seems to have shown interest.  Nope— this earns your name very fast erasing!!

Fifth, It is equally a turn off to go out with self-centered men. Everything is about them. They have been everywhere, achieved everything. 85% of the conversation is about them and your contribution only consisted 15%… Do not get me wrong, there is no harm in talking about you but on the first date, can you get to know each other?. The first date, if all goes well is an affirmative for many more chances to open up about your achievements but for now–let it be the 50/50 first date please!.. Now if these guys aren’t talking too much and blowing their trumpet, they are picking up numerous calls, scrolling through various chats. Gosh.. it is even hard keeping up with these.

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Lastly, meeting a guy and finally putting a face to the sweet texts that come in from Specie S, you realize he doesn’t meet your expectations.. Hhahaha… Where you expected tall, broad, brave and whatever it is that the text messages paint, you are met by the total opposite… Not to really burst this bubble but more often, girls will not keep interested if their expectations were not met..

There is pretty much left that will leave the girls not returning your texts or staying up on the phone with you like initially but if anything should be known,  it is that Men have only one chance—To like is as easy as to unlike. The English proverb “The first impression matters” holds much sense in such a state.

To the guys, if a girl ever leaves you for endless reasons, Mister, do not be offended or dismayed.. Each one of us was made for someone.. Pick up your bags and go on to the next. If you are worried you have to spend a fortune in yet another repeat mode, adopt dates where you don’t have to spend too much.. Go out for an evening walk, to the movies, to a picnic out somewhere nice.. Am I supposed to give thee ideas??? If yes, go read a book by the falls… This is a very exciting venture!! 

Okay Bye really..♣♣♣

Advice— Make them remember you!meercat

I would be very glad for feedback as well as opinions!! Thank you a bunch for passing by

WE AREN’T THE GENERATION THAT TALKS MUCH..ARE WE?

Our attention is either taken by our smart phones or by our music lists. Never the person beside or before us.

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We always need to check out the latest update, the latest follower, the latest number of likes. Yes, we could be moving towards the social marketing/networking era where social media is very imperative but have we forsaken the traditional strings that bond relationships—authentic relationships with the people around us.

A time back when I was really stocked about having a smart phone, it is all I maneuvered, chat this, downloading app that to an extent I missed more than half the things my parents said to me in conversation. On various dates, I missed catching the expressions(I am really the facial expressions girl because they hold emotion, they hold meaning and speak louder than what words may not  say). This was the trend until I decided I wasn’t going to be foolishly addicted to bending my head over a phone—To stick to this decision took/takes discipline.. Discipline to go out with someone and they are scrolling their phone and you are staring out at them like you have no phone of your own.

I once went out with a friend to a pizza place. We hadn’t seen each other in a longtime and the excitement over the phone was almost palpable. We did go out, ordered that pizza and nojitos but I could swear all we said were pleasantries and possibly me asking questions now and then, once she would lift her head up and shake it rigorously and then she just wouldn’t. The silence gladly embraced us when I decided to just stop prying. When the pizza—that seemed to be our only rendezvous was finished, we each packed up, smiled widely, spoke of how exciting it had been to catch up and then went our separate ways…Boy, I have never felt so empty or is the word ignored?—Maybe even annoyed, because I paid for the Pizza..

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I keep wondering, have humans become lonely that the only “people” they can trust are their phones? Because it just makes no sense how you travel miles to meet a person and then end up each scrolling your phones—restaurants can attest to this, there is no eat-out place where you will not find more than a couple of people sharing a table each minding their phones.

Relationships are built on intimacy and I find that this intimacy can not be found on social media—most of the time, I send out laughing emojis to things I have actually not laughed about, I have erased several messages for a fear of how I will be considered by the person on the receiving end. How then can people trust these gadgets, messages and notifications they receive thereon at the expense of an actual person in-front of them?

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Just the other day, I read a meme that for many will hit a wrong note. It said “Your boyfriend is single in his crush’s inbox”.. Hahaha, okay this is sick but devastatingly true How many guys tell you sweet nothings and then easily move on in a blink of an eye? Like whatever he was emphasizing before did not matter and just like that, swoosh he disappeared!!

Maybe I should get over this— I used catch taxis in the good old days and people would be sharing great joy(of-course some taxis are inauspicious some days) and banter until you got off at your stage. Lately, a taxi feels like a cemetery—silence, creepy nudging silence, with people nodding away at music blasting in their ears… Nothing, no talk, don’t you dare say a word!! Sadly that is life now…

We don’t talk much do we? We are about posting the latest picture on Instagram, checking how many Facebook likes we earned and making those various videos to earn a huge following on snap-chat and that is what life has become!!

Guess, it is now okay to be an introvert because relationships are no-longer necessary unless we are going out to an event or to eat-out. We don’t mind cuddling our pillows as long as our phones are right beside us, we don’t mind staying up late–there is a lot on social media not worth missing. Is there any such thing as finding out the color of the eyes of the person that’s seated next to us anymore?                                                                     I believe the fights in relationships are tremendous lately because unless she says something first, I am going to ignore her because well–I have quite a number of “severals” to fit in her space on social media..

It is grueling, It is tiresome… Life is only about social media now and never the person next to us.. We don’t talk anymore–Maybe we do, but not as much as before!

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The Plunge

He never knew how it felt like to fall in love at first sight. He was actually angered by the mention of the idea. However as fate may have it, he did. And he was the most sheepish man that ever wore the garment of affection around his heart.

He said his vows and later wiped much more than a tear.

“I dived from a cliff so high unaware of whether life waited for me at the bottom of my irrational jump. But then I plunged into cool waters and while there, safe hands anchored my unbelieving self from drowning”.

Clear Dive

“How did it feel?” The pastor asked

“It was life. From then on, I lived.” He euphorically shared

Church laughed.. It was a journey to happily ever after.

Does The World Need Prophets?~Part 2

In my opinion yes! Very, very much.

The scripture in Ephesians 4: 11 (KJV)says–And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers. ! So yes, if they are mentioned in the scriptures, then Prophets have a role to play in the lives of people.

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Like I stated in Prophets and Prophesy, Prophets have revelatory abilities. The Prophet’s office is one of the chiefest because they are men of marvelous wisdom. They reveal that which the Lord intends for a nation, a city and a person.

Prophets in the old age revealed what was to come and saved nations and people’s lives. This statement does not in anyway disqualify the prophets of this new age. If you have been blessed enough to hear from a prophet, you will see that whatever they prophesy, unto people, those things happen.

What if you had chance to know what would happen to you tomorrow, would you?

I have encountered people that do not want anything to do with prophets because these men with the gifting to see past, present and future will reveal secrets they want hidden. True… If you had the ability, possibly someone’s negative side would come to you but is that what the call to prophesy is about?

First off, God never intends doom. Never!.. When a prophesy about an unfortunate event is given, usually it is because God has bestowed upon us a power to change that fate or that it may act as a warning, a sign. If anything, Prophesies qualify Jeremiah 29:11.

Prophets edify, exhort and comfort. And these are the very characters of God. God will not approach you with “I know what you did last summer” on the contrary, God approaches you in Love. He knows what you did but he decides to overlook it. (If you could acquaint yourself to the story of Cain and Abel. God approached Cain in Love, comforting him~ well this was before he killed Abel).

Can you imagine the God that knows all affairs of earth knew that Adam and Eve would eat of the forbidden fruit but still decided to create them? That same God came to meet Adam after the fall and asked him, “Adam where are you? Why do you hide from me? God knew what they had done but he didn’t dwell on it too much so that the very fellowship he had with them wouldn’t fade away. Unfortunately Adam and Eve, like all people distanced themselves away from God. They forgot the relationship with God and treated him with fear. Isn’t this what we do with most prophets?

To know your future helps you align with the path of life that leads you there. A prophet prophesied the killing of J.F Kennedy. This prophet reached out to him but like all people that do not believe in prophesy, he took it lightly and like the details she had tried to relay out to him about his death, all these came to pass—same day!

Prophets are supposed to bring you to a mutual footing with God. Prophets like clouds, tell the changing of seasons. Like I stated in Part 1, the men that came before pertaining to be “prophets” tainted this office and now every man that comes with prophetic abilities, whoever says they met with Jesus, we are quick to call them false.

God’s news is always good news pertaining to His people. He created us in His image, there is no way He would bring doom to us~~~therefore anything that contradicts this fact is a lie. 


 I would love to hear from you, Does the world need prophets? Do you need a prophet in your life?