Trust people on social media to blow things out of proportion. I have seen a fair share of memes and sarcastic jokes mocking Anne Kansiime’s confession. She said she paid her dowry to be married to her now ex-husband Ojok.
It is rather unfortunate that women joined the charade of those that made a joke out of this, but this should not come as a shock as we have seen some women side together with men that decide to predate women on the edges of violence.
Women are expected to be the silent majority, belittled and sometimes forced into the nooks of quietude. Women will tell you they are nursing many shameful vices the men in their lives are doing/have done simply because “You can not taint a man’s name”..
I believe in respecting your partner, their reputation, and whatever wealth is acclaimed to their name, however how many men will hush if the tables are turned? The times are starting to change where we now have women speaking up, but even when compared to the population, it is just 3% of these that have come clean.
Women seem to be unnamed saviors that need to constantly undergo Crucifixion once they do something that is not socially agreeable. However who draws the line on what is agreeable or not agreeable for women? Did the same person draw a line keeping those determinants constant for the men?
Kansiime confesses something that not many women have the courage to speak up about simply because of how the society might/will perceive their husbands. They tend to worry more for their husbands’ reputations and therefore take on a lesser position.— I bet this works against self-esteem as time goes on.
Society may say and even agree if a dispute broke out that it is a woman’s place to submit to a man.. I couldn’t agree more, a woman according to scripture is a helpmate, and helpers help, they do not assume the role. She is not supposed to assume the role that was given to a man. However if a woman has to shift gears from submission to cower-ism, then there is definitely a problem.
There are two men in today’s society;
The first is the man that works his ass off and things may not go right, but therein is an effort to be at the helm of his responsibility as head and leader of his family.
The second is the man whose mindset is like a tapeworm, very Parasitical …Eating off of the woman’s sweat without as much effort to explain why he decides to do so— These are what some feminists prefer to call slay male-queens..
Until Kansiime came clean of what happened, no one would have imagined the possibility of this, and yet it is widely happening, we have women buying/paying for their own engagement/wedding rings— Sis he used your money to purchase that stone, the beauty is that he gave it to you, but you are most definitely wearing what you bought.. Cheer Up and speak up. The days for making easy a man’s pursuit should be long over. Whoever needs something needs to go work to get it.. No easy way out!!
The perception of having men appear as supermen even for things that women are doing on the background has led to many frustrated marriages, and friendships because society usually knows it is a man’s place to do certain things(and it is– that social order and hierarchy can not be broken), we don’t have women standing up to own up to the things they have done(we are not ululating the women forces as we should), they instead transfer all that credit to the man, lest society considers him a weak imbecile.
And maybe that is what some men are…. Forgive my straightforwardness, but a man who is intimidated by his wife’s inputs to his success and would only prefer to take all the credit for his egoistical uprightness can only be referred to as nothing else—- Imbecile!!
Women need to have their voices come out louder, they shouldn’t be pushed into a corner where they have to be silent about their strength, greatness and input to have the family coming out stronger.
Secondly, society should know that to draw a line for one gender does not serve anyone any better, that is why we will still have several cases of violence. There should be accountability for both genders—– If a man is going to receive that standing ovation for doing something, then a woman too should receive an even bigger standing ovation for doing a man’s role.
Lastly, there is much ululation for a man who babysits, there shouldn’t have been mockery therefore for Kansiime deciding to do what she did—It was a gesture of love, and perhaps we should rethink what kind of eyes we have decided to see her through since her confession.