All I Ever Wanted Was You

I have been stuck up in the corner of my mind the entire day

Afraid of wandering because I am sure away from it, I will find you

Before I knew you, I had solace to myself

Never worrying about things that seemed mediocre to my mind

Sadly now, all I have to myself is a corner

You have the entire part of my thought process

Is that fair? Is it?

My mind tells me it shall pass.

It has learned to digest this because well, all my friends have said so

And yet I am not sure

I have never been unsure all my life

All I am now is a wreck, wondering whether I have right to think the way I do..

All I ever wanted was you… And I got a clone of you😭

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Crashed

I decided to take on a challenge in your absence

This is much lesser than what I anticipated I would do on a day like this 6months later

I promised not to think very often of you and yet you are what my thoughts crave for

Maybe I should be moving in a direction opposite but you are my early morning coffee beckoning me

I am fully aware that opposite roads always have a junction

It may not be at the first stop, neither may it be after a year

I know however, that we will end up meeting someday

And I will have my eyes glued on you like you are a visual magnet

You will hear my heart beat like it ran a marathon

At that point, you will know my fears, you will know I want you still as much more than I did then

At your sight, I will wonder how life has been to you; fair, nasty, great or excellent

The sight of you will make me wonder whether I made the right choice walking away from the fire that still burned on the inside

Or worse, it will cross my mind—that dreaded curiosity

On who warmed your bed while I was away soul-searching

Would she be of light-skin or black. They say black is beauty and I know it is your favorite

But I also know that while we were together, you stared at fairer girls

Whose skin you made me envy—sometimes they were slightly Hamisa’s tone

But still you stared as though oblivious I watched you

And while you did—you took my heart with you

See I am now over you like the burger I had the day we went bungee-jumping

Memories of you are etched in a file that is almost facing delete

And yet I know almost doesn’t count… it never counts

I almost caught the bus the night we broke up

You didn’t believe me because you thought I was out cuddling with the guy whose eyes were beautiful

But if it counts, I almost caught that bus

The bus in which I saw over the news crashed.

I still wonder why you held bitterness after you got to know the bus I was supposed to catch to meet you, crashed

But perhaps you wanted me out of your life long before I knew you did

And that more than anything, crashed me more than that bus could ever have!!

She was vulnerable when it came to him… He had crashed through her universe, kissing her soul— N. R. Hart