This is one that has been stuck on the back walls of my mind, showing face once in a while and then slowly drifting back to the cognitive. Today it crossed my mind when a close friend opened up about his “trying to get into a relationship” ordeals.. He sounded hurt with his revelation. I listened because sometimes all that people need, is a listening companion and not one that will take them back to school of encouragement and comfort. Most times when we prove to know it all, we become a nag and deny the person spilling all a chance to grieve..
He mentioned that he wants to get into a relationship like any natural emotion-filled human. He needed to be loved, to flaunt and be flaunted, to not be the odd “single” guy among his gangos. “But even the girls that seem to promise, the ones that seem like they have given a green light just end up vanishing after a date, disappearing like what happened before was a fad.”–He shared thoughtfully
“It is all bed and roses in the inbox until after a physical date is set up. The sparks disappear.”
When he narrated this, I realized this has happened before… I have seemingly gone on speaking into the phone for several hours with a person on the other end and it seemed like he is the one, only for a date to happen and bam!!—Nope, not this one.. And just like that, you thank him for thinking up the idea of a date. This is you being polite because well, he didn’t spend peanuts while he was impressing you– this thank you note also marks the last days of the late night calls, love filled texts and possible flirtations.
After this post, possibly men shall share why they seem to rethink their idea of spending forever with a girl after a date. For now, I shall speak boldly for the girls.
First, It matters where you are going for a date. Is it the loud place or the serene place. Between these two, I would choose the latter—why? It is the first time you are meeting therefore it counts that you aren’t interrupted by loud music or various strings of activity. To request to take a person out on a date depends mostly on their likes and character and never yours.. it doesn’t matter whether you don’t like it, it is their needs before yours.—This is called the Impress her mode. In all honesty, my friends are really the kind you will find deeply rooted into church and their first date stories just killed any possible hopes of ever dating the guys that took them out.. First because the person did not recognize their Christian values and secondly because while in the loud places filled with “mr big boom and agataako”.. The scripture from 2 Corinthians 6:14- Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? Is a constant reminder that their hosts are a bad choice. This case is closed!!
Second, I am personally the kind that will go out on a date and determine to listen(this is because I usually do not have as much to talk about like I often do—haha).. Any how, while at it you will realize that ideologies are not a match at all. There is no cross roads between your kind of ideologies and his kind of ideologies, it is clearly two parallel roads not able to meet anywhere.. See the Bible clearly states that “Out of the abundance of the heart, a man speaks”.. Never take lightly what someone says, it has not just been formed by the tongue but it is something they have meditated upon, yes even in a micro second. Luke 6:45- A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
Third, you can know a person that is putting up a front that they will not be able to sustain for a longtime. Yes, we are meeting for the first time and we both have our insecurities.. Will he like me and the dress I put on? is mostly what’s going on in a girl’s mind. Dear men, you don’t have to overstretch your budget, you do not have to tell me of exploits(that haven’t been a personal experience yet) just to impress me. Do not blow me up too much just to inflate me with a prick of a needle in the future. In the moment, let us focus on you and I. let us be as genuine as a stain on white linen.
Fourth, aren’t some guys just careless with their words? Please when I walked into the restaurant to meet you, I was not seeking self-esteem from you. I walked in with it in full throttle! Therefore do not lower it with comments like “Omg, you are fatter than I thought, Oh shit, you should have worn purple lipstick to match your dress beautifully, why don’t you wear mascara for your eyes—are you even girl at all?? Aaahh for those whose eyes are bulged, hmm yes we have guys that have bolder balls… Their guts are very unexpected and un-thought of.. Who would like to be in a relationship where their levels of esteem will be diminishing every new day or worse, losing oneself just to keep up with the expectations of a man that seems to have shown interest. Nope— this earns your name very fast erasing!!
Fifth, It is equally a turn off to go out with self-centered men. Everything is about them. They have been everywhere, achieved everything. 85% of the conversation is about them and your contribution only consisted 15%… Do not get me wrong, there is no harm in talking about you but on the first date, can you get to know each other?. The first date, if all goes well is an affirmative for many more chances to open up about your achievements but for now–let it be the 50/50 first date please!.. Now if these guys aren’t talking too much and blowing their trumpet, they are picking up numerous calls, scrolling through various chats. Gosh.. it is even hard keeping up with these.
Lastly, meeting a guy and finally putting a face to the sweet texts that come in from Specie S, you realize he doesn’t meet your expectations.. Hhahaha… Where you expected tall, broad, brave and whatever it is that the text messages paint, you are met by the total opposite… Not to really burst this bubble but more often, girls will not keep interested if their expectations were not met..
There is pretty much left that will leave the girls not returning your texts or staying up on the phone with you like initially but if anything should be known, it is that Men have only one chance—To like is as easy as to unlike. The English proverb “The first impression matters” holds much sense in such a state.
To the guys, if a girl ever leaves you for endless reasons, Mister, do not be offended or dismayed.. Each one of us was made for someone.. Pick up your bags and go on to the next. If you are worried you have to spend a fortune in yet another repeat mode, adopt dates where you don’t have to spend too much.. Go out for an evening walk, to the movies, to a picnic out somewhere nice.. Am I supposed to give thee ideas??? If yes, go read a book by the falls… This is a very exciting venture!!
Okay Bye really..♣♣♣
Advice— Make them remember you!
I would be very glad for feedback as well as opinions!! Thank you a bunch for passing by