When he woke up that Friday morning,
He asked a drink of cold water, quite odd for a man that hates cold drinks to start with
He was slothful compared to his usually excited self for work
I suggested he stay but he insisted, he had to keep his word to a group of students he was to address later in the morning
He dressed up, rather slow but he dressed up.
When he was through, he asked me to adjust his head cap. I loved watching him admire his smart towering self.
He bent down, on one knee as though to propose only for him to get his ear to my protruding belly
I had told him we are expecting and ever since he heard the news, he has been the very flexible husband helping out with the house chores and sometimes carrying heavy me to our chambers.
On Friday, he bent down and held my belly for an unusually longtime in silence, he looked up to me and said, “Whatever happens, you will always have my heart”. It got me so emotional.
I told him I loved him back and adopted the rush manner. “Let me go see how far the children have gotten into preparing for school” I told him
I left the bedroom but aware that he was getting down on his knees beside the bed to say his morning prayer.
I left for the kids’ bedroom; there was too much fumble in there. Nothing is settled without a fight or a scream or a sarcastic laugh.
The kids and I found him already settled at the dining table. Making his tongue aware of the cooked delicacies I had laid out for him.
In my state, I still cooked for him because he said nobody cooked better than I did. He ate his breakfast amidst teasing and daddy this and daddy that!
He stood up and announced “Children, today I just might return late but even if I don’t, I love you!”. He got hugs for that… “Bye daddy, Bring me ice-cream”. They each said.
He walked out the very moment he heard the car tyres screech in the compound.
He shook the hand of the body guard assigned him that day, Erau. He seemed honored to be on duty. He bowed as he shook his boss’ hand. Mambewa on the other hand held the steering wheel with such admirable confidence.
I watched him open the door for my husband. He flashed his signature smile towards the window where he knew I would be watching him from, his smile stealing my heart like it did when I walked down the aisle in 2006.
He waved, I waved back and then they left.
Black land cruiser with number plate boldly standing out in red: UP …. I was a happy wife, my family man was growing these ranks everyday.
5 minutes later and I could swear I heard gun-shots
Which thug has been caught now? I wondered. These streets are common of morning robbery with men falling prey to gun-shots from askaris trying to protect the houses they are assigned to.
My heart clenched though, it hurt in a way uncommon. My gut told me I should run out for curiosity’s sake.
But what would my pregnant self want outside on a chilly morning perplexed with gun-fire.
I stayed indoors and micro seconds later, what my gut felt was confirmed.
A mob… A mob at my gate… Many people at our gate and I was aware tragedy had made a visit… I got to know.. I just felt it..
I screamed… I fumbled for my lesu… Was my husband alright?
People were staring at me… They wore sad looks on their faces.. They were sympathizing.. Some are hinting about my pregnancy…I didn’t need all of this..
Out of the gate and onto the road, I saw my husband’d car, glasses smashed onto the ground..
I got near, I was panting.. My heart was clenched in fear of what my mind seemed to confirm.
I got nearer and the sight left me breathless, speechless.. I couldn’t feel my voice nor my feet anymore.
Blood….Blood all over.. Blood for ages…
My husband was bent lifeless..
Felix… Felix.. Feli…. Darling!! Nothing Nothing…. No sound..
Afudde nyabo… People started to say.. Someone held me…. Beera mugumu…
Leave me…. Ndekka…. Leave mee….. That’s my husband right there!! I struggled for freedom to reach my husband.
My pleas fell on deaf ears.. People were taking me further away from the scene.. Its one I swear to live with forever.
Back in the house, I adopted a calm stature.. Our children shouldn’t see mummy so broken… It would kill them in all kinds of ways..
I hug them… I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I may never have to see my husband again, they may never have to stay excited at the gate waiting for their daddy to return home.
I held them some more, their eldest sister was at school.. I needed to have her picked.
Two days later and this sad truth is yet to sink in.
My husband didn’t return to our marital bed Friday night neither did he on Saturday.
Yesterday, Sunday was the first time since his departure on Friday that he returned home. With cotton in his nostrils, his favorite flowers stepped on by the various on-lookers and officials that came to pay their last respects..
I can’t feel our unborn baby kick anymore.. I guess he realized daddy hasn’t pecked him for a while now.
The doctor called to pass on his comfort but to also remind me of our appointment on Wednesday.
Today, I watched him, behind my black goggles, I watched him
Lying there lifeless like days ago he did not assure me we would make it to old age together
Everyone is gathered, some naturally genuine, some counterfeit and others for the benefit of media coverage.
A stray thought crossed my mind~~ What if they are here too? His killers. Masquerading among the mobs?!.
Too many people offering a helping hand but it still feels lonely.
My handsome husband, the country’s cadre is gone just too soon and yet forever.
I watch our young children play, oblivious of the impact of their father’s death, I carry a child that shall only see its father in pictures and possibly listen to countless tales about his bravery. Sad!!
“Till death do us part”~~We said that 10 years ago and apart has it done us… Just heartrendingly too soon.