“6ft. tall, broad chest-the results of the gym visible, smile that reveals perfectly aligned white teeth, Eyes that will make your blood sing a hymn, Silky voice coupled with a great sense of humor, the way he carries himself- gentleman should be an understatement and last but not least, his dress sense should describe his persona plus his cologne should smell expensive” You just got a sneak peek into the girls’ fantasies of an eligible man!! first things first– THE DISCLAIMER!! “i do not speak for all girls but i speak for the majority in this day and era”
Open up a topic of what a girl expects from dear future husband/boyfriend, and you will notice the above traits and more spring up. See girls like to be told nice things about their bodies(the excitement it evokes), their achievements plus their men. it is almost tangible how a girl will introduce her man to you and then pry to find out how you find him-affirm what she is looking to hear and you will be pontius pilate- deciding factor!! The pressure among youths to fit in, to be seen as better is high;call it daily bread. The statement ” i would agree to marry a poor man, be glad as he walks me down the aisle that leads to a guava tree where we will be joined in holy matrimony and hope that as time flies by, things will get better for us will be commonly found among our “naive, unsuspecting ancestors” but is actual insult today.
So what is the actual problem?? Statistics show that Domestic Violence is prevalent at 60% and is most common with women being victims and the men being the perpetrators!! Why is it then that a generation that should be wiser(or rather seems smarter) than the previous is falling prey?? “beb, he is more than everything i ever wanted in a man, he is my walking male miracle and despite all his foes, i will stick with him” one girl pounces up in defense while the other rolls her eyes, points her finger in a state of assurance “who dumps such a man? she asks and continues uninterrupted “you dump a cute man, be positively alert all the losers will be rooting for you. It is a tale of unending prospects and ideas in the girl world. Women are feeding on violence, enduring malicious tantrums behind closed doors because they have placed their needs, status and egos very low based on the societal pressure-the need to get married, be seen with a hotter man, seen cruising around town with the latest car and shuffling the latest i phones- Expensive girl mode.
As ads, billboards and implementers make the advocacy call against Domestic violence, the story continues for some with hope the beatings and insults will come to an end some day; the undying hope that is demoralized every single day simply because we are holding onto the talk of “a relationship will not last if it hasn’t been refined by the fights and if a man beats you, he actually loves you”. So are the women to blame for the uprising households suffering Domestic Violence?
My say is, the very handsome men we are unwilling to let go of come with a price–Poor Anger Management!! They uphold their egos too much that a blow to them earns you a blow to your face-the black eyes and swollen cheeks we try so much to hide with foundation, mascara and lip gloss. Yet question should be “why are we(women) stuck in these kinds of relationships?? FEAR, fear of judgement, of being called a failure, of being unwanted by anyone, of starting over. Recent cases some involving our icons and celebrities attracted the attention of the public and had the police intervening and just like a prick to a balloon, boldly the victimized women withdrew the cases- and oh boy, you should have seen the rants and raves that flew around the media space.
Conclusively, women should have the courage to walk out of such spheres, it is not a collective decision(no third parties here), it is Individualistic(pertaining to one’s life and well-being) or else in the face of all the advertisements, advocacy calls and hashtags, Domestic Violence will still remain the Undying Scourge. #SayNoToDomesticViolence #GBV #StandUpForWomenRights