Domestic Violence; The Undying Scourge

“6ft. tall, broad chest-the results of the gym visible, smile that reveals perfectly aligned white teeth, Eyes that will make your blood sing a hymn, Silky voice coupled with a great sense of humor, the way he carries himself- gentleman should be an understatement and last but not least, his dress sense should describe his persona plus his cologne should smell expensive” You just got a sneak peek into the girls’ fantasies of an eligible man!! first things first– THE DISCLAIMER!! “i do not speak for all girls but i speak for the majority in this day and era”

Open up a topic of what a girl expects from dear future husband/boyfriend, and you will notice the above traits and more spring up. See girls like to be told nice things about their bodies(the excitement it evokes), their achievements plus their men. it is almost tangible how a girl will introduce her man to you and then pry to find out how you find him-affirm what she is looking to hear and you will be pontius pilate- deciding factor!! The pressure among youths to fit in, to be seen as better is high;call it daily bread. The statement ” i would agree to marry a poor man, be glad as he walks me down the aisle that leads to a guava tree where we will be joined in holy matrimony and hope that as time flies by, things will get better for us will be commonly found among our “naive, unsuspecting ancestors” but is actual insult today.

So what is the actual problem?? Statistics show that Domestic Violence is prevalent at 60% and is most common with women being victims and the men being the perpetrators!! Why is it then that a generation that should be wiser(or rather seems smarter) than the previous is falling prey??  “beb, he is more than everything i ever wanted in a man, he is my walking male miracle and despite all his foes, i will stick with him” one girl pounces up in defense while the other rolls her eyes, points her finger in a state of assurance “who dumps such a man? she asks and continues uninterrupted “you dump a cute man, be positively alert all the losers will be rooting for you. It is a tale of unending prospects and ideas in the girl world. Women are feeding on violence, enduring malicious tantrums behind closed doors because they have placed their needs, status and egos very low based on the societal pressure-the need to get married, be seen with a hotter man, seen cruising around town with the latest car and shuffling the latest i phones- Expensive girl mode.

As ads, billboards and implementers make the advocacy call against Domestic violence, the story continues for some with  hope the beatings and insults will come to an end some day; the undying hope that is demoralized every single day simply because we are holding onto the talk of “a relationship will not last if it hasn’t been refined by the fights and if a man beats you, he actually loves you”. So are the women to blame for the uprising households suffering Domestic Violence?

My say is, the very handsome men we are unwilling to let go of come with a price–Poor Anger Management!! They uphold their egos too much that a blow to them earns you a blow to your face-the black eyes and swollen cheeks we try so much to hide with foundation, mascara and lip gloss. Yet question should be “why are we(women) stuck in these kinds of relationships?? FEAR, fear of judgement, of being called a failure, of being unwanted by anyone, of starting over. Recent cases some involving our icons and celebrities attracted the attention of the public and had the police intervening and just like a prick to a balloon, boldly the victimized women withdrew the cases- and oh boy, you should have seen the rants and raves that flew around the media space.

Conclusively, women should have the courage to walk out of such spheres, it is not a collective decision(no third parties here), it is Individualistic(pertaining to one’s life and well-being) or else in the face of all the advertisements, advocacy calls and hashtags, Domestic Violence will still remain the Undying Scourge.  #SayNoToDomesticViolence  #GBV  #StandUpForWomenRights


Tooth Semantics

Timecheck 11:30am sunday morning of the 20th, i made my way out of a dental clinic robbed of one of my numb gum throbbing, the nerves all over my body jittery but most of all in my reeling mind, one thought remained constant “When did i get so careless?”

All through my younger life, i knew i wanted to be a doctor possibly because while growing up, it was the most established proffession and the elders seemed to insinuate that those that went to school became doctors on completion of their studies.And then Boom, adolescence happened to me-at that point, i realised who i was, my worth and what i wanted to be later on in life- A Dental Surgeon. well it didnt stop at only dreaming but i worked hard for it all through highschool alongside being tagged the stricty because i was cautious what foods to eat, how many times one brushed their teeth. Oh how i minded not only about my dentition but also that of all the people in my circles, the strangers i met and those that cared to listen even for a minute about the “protect your teeth talk” (Thinking about it now has me wondering, where did all that passion go to?)

Fast-forward, the medical school of Dentistry did not consider my application and as a budding young adult that had everything going on like that smooth song, the disappointment slit my heart like knife on skin, i remember soaking my pillow two days in a row. Comfort and Advice came my way in different shades and shapes and all it summed up was, pursue something else, you will catchup with dentistry as your second degree and yes i picked up the remaining pieces and chose to walk down a diffferent path that’s turned out so exciting. Now with Dentistry and cautious living long forgotten, came the reckless living i had scolded my friends for, sweets, icings and cakes with aa phase that tagged along “i have a sweet tooth”, and just a few times, i substituted brushing with bubble gum(hahaha, o not judge me, we all get lazy at something). Sadly down this road, a small hollow that gradually got big manifested in my molar, then came the sensitivity issues and now today i walk around without my molar. Don’t ask me about how a tooth hurts, that is a story for another day but i will say this,Pray and Fast that you never get a toothache, it will keep you sleepless and restless like it is revenging for all the times you ate without a care in the world.


Well as i walked around lopsided without a care what surrounded me, i realised i did get careless and lost the vice of teeth protection. But gladly, i learn a lesson that i want to share;  *Pay attention to even the slightest pain or itch on your body. See so long as we feel well enough, we do not give health much thought. Things only catch our attention when they make us uncomfortable or bring about tremendous pain. we only go see the doctor so that the pain is removed.

Recently at the World Oral Health Day  that happened over the weekend, emphasis was placed on preventive care “people should make it a habit to visit the dentist regulary for check-ups,follow-ups andd professional cleaning rather than visiting the dentist because the pain is immense because under such circumstances,chances of saving the tooth/teeth are very low.” Therefore from me to you, don’t visit a dentist only to be treated or cured, you may not only lose a molar but all your 32 teeth!! Visit the dentist for a dental check-up REGULARY, it is not luxury or time wastage, Your Health is Your Responsibility. #HealthyMouthHealthyBody Continue reading